Relationship with Self – Mummy Chronicles: My Affair with the Kitchen Floor

Happy New Year :-)!  I know right, the first month of the year is almost over!  Well, it is never too late to add my best wishes to those you received when the calendar reset to 01-01: may this year be better than all those before in all respects.  Hope all your new year resolutions are still firmly in place :-).

soak garri and peanuts groundnutsIt is a well-known secret that I love my garri!  No apologies there :-).  And my offspring seem to have inherited this gene :-).  Nothing like a nice cold bowl of garri – with a couple of ice cubes thrown in for good effect – with peanuts on a hot afternoon to calm the human system down (I can see some of you nodding with understanding :-)).  This all sounds like bliss, no?  Well, not exactly.  The problem with this picture is that as soon as I show up with my bowl cradled in my hand, ready to arrange myself cosily in a chair and savour my delicacy, two pairs of legs run up to me, two pairs of hands start pulling on the bowl and spoon, with four pairs of limbs trying to climb unto my head so the owners of these limbs can get prime access to the “gold.”

So, how do I escape this attack you may wonder?  That’s where my kitchen floor comes in :-D.  The above scenario gets tweaked a bit: instead of heading to the living room and attempting to settle cosily into that oh-so-comfortable chair, I remain in the kitchen with the door shut, and settle cosily unto the kitchen floor.  Bingo!  All objectives met: (1) the attackers do not know there is any bait, so there’s no whining about missing out; (2) I get to enjoy my delicacy with no struggles; and (3) I get some me-time as a bonus – even if only for a few minutes, before they realise I have disappeared and come knocking.

on-floor-in-kitchen-and-texting-on-smartphone
Image courtesy shutterstock.com

So, parents and guardians out there, do you have any “escape” stories of your own to share :-)?

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16 thoughts on “Relationship with Self – Mummy Chronicles: My Affair with the Kitchen Floor

  1. I completely understand Bash!
    Mine is the bathroom/toilet. I just hand my 15week old to Mr. N. with a whispered but intense “I have to use the bathroom”, tell my 3 year old (going on 30) that she should go tell daddy to give her “do-occupy-me” and I take my phone with me. 30minutes bliss!
    Shhhhh….no telling o.

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  2. Hmm interesting bash, yeah I know that feeling and those two pairs of hands and legs lol.
    Mums all need that escape route right. I just close the door and put a do not disturb sign. They know what it means now even though sometimes they could just ignore… I can totally relate

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  3. Yes o Bash! I feel you completely. Unfortunately, there’s no door to my kitchen so my only retreat is the bathroom… Even then, the mini-me still comes knocking, demanding I open the door😄 The girl is like my shadow… Sigh!

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  4. You know, I call my tot Miss Jailer, no escape from that one. I used to be able to hide in the bathroom (upstairs) but since the walking milestone was reached, in a few minutes there is loud banging and yelling to “open me mummy!!!”. Its OK though, I can assure you that when your shadows reach the same age as my Miss Teen, you will be the one doing the stalking. he he he

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  5. I don’t have children, but I have two younger cousins who used to be just as much of a pain (they’re all grown up now). My escape route used to be under the table, behind a long curtain of table-cloth, hidden from the world. There’s is something blissful about having your favourite treat all to yourself. Ice-cold Garri, Groundnut, and Asun, Kilishi, or Suya… Mmmmmm

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  6. Lol! I know that feeling. Mine is like a shadow there is no escape. Once I attempt, she bawls like the heavens are going to crash so I just respectfully allow her follow me everywhere hoping she sleeps or hand her over to dad.

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  7. I literally just stumbled upon this site…..
    The kitchen floor certainly wouldn’t work in my household as all my kids can now open the kitchen door. My safe haven used to be the bathroom/toilet. But within 60 seconds, my children are knocking on the door. Imagine this-
    Any daughter: “mummy, mummy, where are you”.
    Me”: Ermmm…. In the toilet”
    Any daughter: “can I come in, what are you doing”
    Me: “nothing really baby”
    Any daughter: “so come out then, why are you taking so long”
    Battle won. I have given up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha! So standard: “What are you doing?”
      So glad you “stumbled in,” hope you drop by again soon :-).
      Nice piece re: the 30-day water challenge; intend to take on the challenge myself.

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